11 Surprising Migraine Triggers | Health and Burn Weight
Do you ever skip lunch? Or sleep late on Sundays? You may be setting yourself up for the misery of a head-pounder. Learn about these and other lesser-known factors that can lead to a hellish headache. September 01, 2015 at 02:15AM
10 Foods That May Trigger a Migraine | Health and Burn Weight
Alcohol, cured meats, and aged cheeses all might bring on one heck of a headache. August 28, 2015 at 02:15AM
Your Urinary Tract: A User's Manual | Health and Burn Weight
Ever wonder why you spend so much time in the bathroom? It's because your urinary tract is your body's drainage system, designed to remove waste and toxins. (Think of it as your own regular natural cleanse!) Unfortunately, women are more prone to urinary problems than men, thanks to our unique anatomy, hormone changes and the effects of pregnancy and childbirth. But don't fret: Here's everything you need to know to resolve your loo-related issues.
Problem No. 1: Urinary incontinence
The lowdown: About a quarter of women leak urine when they're not actively trying to go. The most common culprits? Pregnancy and labor. "The increased weight during pregnancy puts pressure on your pelvic-floor muscles, and childbirth stretches them out, causing tears that can lead to urinary incontinence," explains Costas Apostolis, MD, director and chief of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at Akron General Medical Center in Ohio. But you can be susceptible even if you've never had a kid. "As estrogen levels decline through menopause, your urinary tract muscles weaken, making it more likely that you'll leak," Dr. Apostolis says. And while we're all about staying active, running and classes that require a ton of squatting and lifting (like CrossFit) can put stress on pelvic muscles and make the problem worse.
What it feels like: Coughing, sneezing, laughing, squatting or lifting something puts pressure on your bladder, leading to leakage—as little as a few drops or as much as a geyser.
Rx: Visit your ob-gyn. She may recommend pelvic-floor therapy to strengthen those muscles. If you're dribbling during exercise, your doctor can prescribe a device called a pessary (inserted into the vagina) or outpatient surgery to support your bladder.
Problem No. 2: Urinary tract infections
The lowdown: Blame bacteria like E. coli that invade your urinary tract, often from your stool. Your ureters, urethra, kidneys or—most often—your bladder gets infected as a result. And women can be especially vulnerable. Why? "The proximity of the rectum to the urethra in women allows for easier transmission of bacteria into the bladder," explains Courtenay K. Moore, MD, a female reconstructive surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic Glickman Urological Institute.
A tendency to get UTIs can run in families. You're also more likely to get one if you have multiple sexual partners—or are simply having sex frequently (good for you!). And you may start getting UTIs after menopause, due to declining estrogen levels in your system: "Estrogen promotes an acidic pH in the vagina, which protects against the bacteria that cause UTIs," Dr. Moore says.
What it feels like: The classic symptom is a burning sensation during and after peeing. You might also constantly feel like you have to go while only passing a small amount of urine.
Rx: See your doctor pronto: If left untreated for several days, infection can spread to your kidneys, causing permanent damage. She'll likely put you on antibiotics. And if you're truly in agonizing pain, she can also put you on a bladder-numbing drug like Pyridium.
Problem No. 3: Overactive bladder
The lowdown: OAB, or urge incontinence, makes you get a strong, sudden feeling that you need to go. "The muscles in your bladder contract involuntarily," explains Mary Rosser, MD, an ob-gyn at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
What it feels like: You have an immediate urge to pee. You might go as often as eight times a day, even if you're not drinking a lot.
Rx: The first line of treatment: Kegels and/or pelvic-floor physical therapy to prevent urine from leaking out of your bladder. Your doctor might recommend bladder training, which means you work on delaying going to the bathroom when you feel the need. (Don't try this without a doctor's supervision.) If that doesn't work, she may prescribe a drug that targets the beta-3 receptors on the bladder muscle, relaxing it and increasing its capacity. Botox also appears to reduce symptoms by about 50 percent.
Problem No. 4: Interstitial cystitis
The lowdown This condition acts like a UTI, but it's not really an infection at all. "Interstitial cystitis happens a lot in women who get recurrent UTIs," says Lisa Dabney, MD, a urogynecologist at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital in New York City. "The theory is, their bladder gets so traumatized and irritated that they begin experiencing pain even when they don't have an infection."
What it feels like Chronic pelvic pain and a persistent feeling that you need to pee.
Rx Your doctor will take a urine sample to rule out infection. If necessary, she'll perform more invasive tests to examine your bladder lining. One such test is a cystoscopy, in which a lighted scope is inserted into your urethra. Treatment usually involves avoiding foods that exacerbate the symptoms, such as caffeine or acidic fare. Pelvic-floor physical therapy can help, too. If these tactics don't work, your doctor may prescribe Elmiron, a drug that helps repair the bladder lining.
The truth about kegels
"I see a lot of women who complain that Kegels don't work, only to find that they've been doing them wrong," says pelvic-floor physical therapist Kerry Kress Levy, based in Towson, Md. To get the right squeeze:
Find the key muscles The next time you're on the toilet, stop urine midstream. The clenched sensation is a sign that you're engaging your pelvic-floor muscles. (Don't do this routinely while peeing, though—that can actually weaken the pelvic floor, Levy says.)
Repeat often Lying on the floor, tighten your pelvic-floor muscles. Hold the contraction for 5 to 10 seconds (don't stop breathing!), then relax for 5 to 10 seconds. Repeat 20 times a day, eventually working up to 100.
Keep focused While doing Kegels, put your hands on your stomach and butt to ensure that your belly, thighs and glutes aren't moving.
What your pee color really means
Transparent: You're drinking a lot of water. It's fine to be this hydrated, but you don't need to be. So if you're forcing yourself to guzzle H[subscript 2]O, you can safely cut back a bit.
Pale straw color or transparent yellow: You're well-hydrated.
Amber or honey: Your body isn't getting enough water.
Syrup or brown ale: You may be severely dehydrated. Amp up your fluid intake, and see your doctor if the color persists.
Pink to reddish: Eaten blueberries or beets recently? If not, you may have blood in your urine. It could be nothing, or it could be a sign of a UTI or other condition, so check with your doc to be sure.
Blue or green: It's probably a dye in something you ate or in a medication (like certain antidepressants and anti-inflammatory drugs), but it may also be a sign of a rare genetic disease. The condition won't kill you, but to be safe, see your doctor if the color doesn't go away.
Foaming or fizzing: This could indicate excess protein in your diet or a kidney problem. Talk to your doctor if you notice that it's happening all the time.
August 27, 2015 at 02:15AM
Problem No. 1: Urinary incontinence
The lowdown: About a quarter of women leak urine when they're not actively trying to go. The most common culprits? Pregnancy and labor. "The increased weight during pregnancy puts pressure on your pelvic-floor muscles, and childbirth stretches them out, causing tears that can lead to urinary incontinence," explains Costas Apostolis, MD, director and chief of female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery at Akron General Medical Center in Ohio. But you can be susceptible even if you've never had a kid. "As estrogen levels decline through menopause, your urinary tract muscles weaken, making it more likely that you'll leak," Dr. Apostolis says. And while we're all about staying active, running and classes that require a ton of squatting and lifting (like CrossFit) can put stress on pelvic muscles and make the problem worse.
What it feels like: Coughing, sneezing, laughing, squatting or lifting something puts pressure on your bladder, leading to leakage—as little as a few drops or as much as a geyser.
Rx: Visit your ob-gyn. She may recommend pelvic-floor therapy to strengthen those muscles. If you're dribbling during exercise, your doctor can prescribe a device called a pessary (inserted into the vagina) or outpatient surgery to support your bladder.
Problem No. 2: Urinary tract infections
The lowdown: Blame bacteria like E. coli that invade your urinary tract, often from your stool. Your ureters, urethra, kidneys or—most often—your bladder gets infected as a result. And women can be especially vulnerable. Why? "The proximity of the rectum to the urethra in women allows for easier transmission of bacteria into the bladder," explains Courtenay K. Moore, MD, a female reconstructive surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic Glickman Urological Institute.
A tendency to get UTIs can run in families. You're also more likely to get one if you have multiple sexual partners—or are simply having sex frequently (good for you!). And you may start getting UTIs after menopause, due to declining estrogen levels in your system: "Estrogen promotes an acidic pH in the vagina, which protects against the bacteria that cause UTIs," Dr. Moore says.
What it feels like: The classic symptom is a burning sensation during and after peeing. You might also constantly feel like you have to go while only passing a small amount of urine.
Rx: See your doctor pronto: If left untreated for several days, infection can spread to your kidneys, causing permanent damage. She'll likely put you on antibiotics. And if you're truly in agonizing pain, she can also put you on a bladder-numbing drug like Pyridium.
Problem No. 3: Overactive bladder
The lowdown: OAB, or urge incontinence, makes you get a strong, sudden feeling that you need to go. "The muscles in your bladder contract involuntarily," explains Mary Rosser, MD, an ob-gyn at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.
What it feels like: You have an immediate urge to pee. You might go as often as eight times a day, even if you're not drinking a lot.
Rx: The first line of treatment: Kegels and/or pelvic-floor physical therapy to prevent urine from leaking out of your bladder. Your doctor might recommend bladder training, which means you work on delaying going to the bathroom when you feel the need. (Don't try this without a doctor's supervision.) If that doesn't work, she may prescribe a drug that targets the beta-3 receptors on the bladder muscle, relaxing it and increasing its capacity. Botox also appears to reduce symptoms by about 50 percent.
Problem No. 4: Interstitial cystitis
The lowdown This condition acts like a UTI, but it's not really an infection at all. "Interstitial cystitis happens a lot in women who get recurrent UTIs," says Lisa Dabney, MD, a urogynecologist at St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital in New York City. "The theory is, their bladder gets so traumatized and irritated that they begin experiencing pain even when they don't have an infection."
What it feels like Chronic pelvic pain and a persistent feeling that you need to pee.
Rx Your doctor will take a urine sample to rule out infection. If necessary, she'll perform more invasive tests to examine your bladder lining. One such test is a cystoscopy, in which a lighted scope is inserted into your urethra. Treatment usually involves avoiding foods that exacerbate the symptoms, such as caffeine or acidic fare. Pelvic-floor physical therapy can help, too. If these tactics don't work, your doctor may prescribe Elmiron, a drug that helps repair the bladder lining.
The truth about kegels
"I see a lot of women who complain that Kegels don't work, only to find that they've been doing them wrong," says pelvic-floor physical therapist Kerry Kress Levy, based in Towson, Md. To get the right squeeze:
Find the key muscles The next time you're on the toilet, stop urine midstream. The clenched sensation is a sign that you're engaging your pelvic-floor muscles. (Don't do this routinely while peeing, though—that can actually weaken the pelvic floor, Levy says.)
Repeat often Lying on the floor, tighten your pelvic-floor muscles. Hold the contraction for 5 to 10 seconds (don't stop breathing!), then relax for 5 to 10 seconds. Repeat 20 times a day, eventually working up to 100.
Keep focused While doing Kegels, put your hands on your stomach and butt to ensure that your belly, thighs and glutes aren't moving.
What your pee color really means
Transparent: You're drinking a lot of water. It's fine to be this hydrated, but you don't need to be. So if you're forcing yourself to guzzle H[subscript 2]O, you can safely cut back a bit.
Pale straw color or transparent yellow: You're well-hydrated.
Amber or honey: Your body isn't getting enough water.
Syrup or brown ale: You may be severely dehydrated. Amp up your fluid intake, and see your doctor if the color persists.
Pink to reddish: Eaten blueberries or beets recently? If not, you may have blood in your urine. It could be nothing, or it could be a sign of a UTI or other condition, so check with your doc to be sure.
Blue or green: It's probably a dye in something you ate or in a medication (like certain antidepressants and anti-inflammatory drugs), but it may also be a sign of a rare genetic disease. The condition won't kill you, but to be safe, see your doctor if the color doesn't go away.
Foaming or fizzing: This could indicate excess protein in your diet or a kidney problem. Talk to your doctor if you notice that it's happening all the time.
August 27, 2015 at 02:15AM
11 Secrets of People Who've Lived to 100 | Health and Burn Weight
Centenarians from around the globe share their secrets to longevity. August 26, 2015 at 02:15AM
10 Products You Think Are Healthy, But Aren't | Health and Burn Weight
Some products meant to improve your health and wellbeing can actually have the opposite effect if used incorrectly. August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
8 Ways to Fake Being a Morning Person | Health and Burn Weight
Groggy and sluggish when you wake up? Use these tricks to make climbing out of bed easier. August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
14 Fascinating Things All Women Should Know About Orgasms | Health and Burn Weight
No crazy positions. No regrets. No extreme lingerie. Just these eight fascinating facts that will help pump up your pleasure. Tonight's going to be a good night. August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
3 Types of Birth Control That Aren't the Pill | Health and Burn Weight
Raise your hand if you're so over remembering (read: forgetting) to pick up birth control pill refills. Is your arm up? Then it's high time you considered LARC—long-acting reversible contraception—such as an intrauterine device (IUD) or implant. When it comes to preventing pregnancy, these devices, which a gynecologist inserts into your uterus or under the skin of your arm, "are as effective as getting your tubes tied, but they're easily reversible," says Andrew Kaunitz, MD, a professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of Florida College of Medicine—Jacksonville.
RELATED: 16 Worst Birth Control Mistakes
In fact, research shows that LARC is more than 99 percent fail-safe. That's because you can't mess it up: Once it's in, simply ignore it until you want to have it removed. Done.
IUDs and the implant are particularly good options if you're over 35: Most release progestin, a hormone that can relieve bleeding associated with fibroids, which we're more prone to as we age. They're also safer for women who smoke or have high blood pressure than estrogen-based options like the pill or ring.
Intrigued? Read on to find the method that's best for your life situation, and you'll never have to agonize over an unfilled pill Rx ever again.
I want birth control without hormones in it.
Your pick: A copper IUD (ParaGard)
How it works: The only LARC that doesn't release progestin, ParaGard has a copper frame that kills sperm. If a sperm did happen to get through, the lining of your uterus would be inhospitable to a fertilized egg.
When to skip it: Steer clear if you have Wilson's disease, a rare condition that alters the way your body handles and removes copper. And if you've noticed reactions to copper jewelry in the past, talk to your doc before getting it. ParaGard may also make your periods heavier when you first start using it, so heavy bleeders might want to pass.
Lasts for: It's FDA-approved for up to 10 years of use; research suggests it works even longer.
RELATED: 7 Common Birth Control Side Effects
My periods are the worst.
Your pick: A hormonal IUD (Mirena, Skyla or Liletta)
How it works: All three plastic devices release progestin into the uterus. The hormone seems to block sperm from entering your uterus by thickening mucus in your cervix. It may also thin your uterine lining so any eggs that do get fertilized can't implant. A side perk: After one year, about 20 percent of Mirena users stop getting periods; most of the rest menstruate for just one to two days per cycle, says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine. (Periods return when the IUD is removed.) Mirena can also reduce menstrual cramping.
Never had kids? Skyla, a compact version of Mirena, may fit more comfortably into your smaller uterus. It also stops periods for some women. Lastly, if cost is a factor, ask for Liletta at your local health clinic—this newer version works the same way as the others but can be more affordable.
When to skip it: If you've had breast cancer, your doctor will likely advise against any hormonal birth control.
Lasts for: Skyla and Liletta are approved for up to three years of use, and Mirena for up to five years, but studies show it may be effective for up to six years.
RELATED: The Best Birth Control for You Now
Sticking something up my uterus? No, thank you.
Your pick: A hormonal implant (Nexplanon)
How it works: If you're nervous about IUD insertion, or if your gyno determines that you're not a good candidate, consider Nexplanon, a small, flexible plastic rod that's placed under the skin of your inner upper arm, where it releases progestin into your bloodstream. "You can have it done in five minutes," Dr. Kaunitz says.
When to skip it: Women who've had breast cancer shouldn't use the implant. FYI: Nexplanon can cause spotting. Mirena can, too, but it typically stops after four months; with the implant, it may go on for longer, Dr. Minkin says.
Lasts for: Up to three years.
August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
RELATED: 16 Worst Birth Control Mistakes
In fact, research shows that LARC is more than 99 percent fail-safe. That's because you can't mess it up: Once it's in, simply ignore it until you want to have it removed. Done.
IUDs and the implant are particularly good options if you're over 35: Most release progestin, a hormone that can relieve bleeding associated with fibroids, which we're more prone to as we age. They're also safer for women who smoke or have high blood pressure than estrogen-based options like the pill or ring.
Intrigued? Read on to find the method that's best for your life situation, and you'll never have to agonize over an unfilled pill Rx ever again.
I want birth control without hormones in it.
Your pick: A copper IUD (ParaGard)
How it works: The only LARC that doesn't release progestin, ParaGard has a copper frame that kills sperm. If a sperm did happen to get through, the lining of your uterus would be inhospitable to a fertilized egg.
When to skip it: Steer clear if you have Wilson's disease, a rare condition that alters the way your body handles and removes copper. And if you've noticed reactions to copper jewelry in the past, talk to your doc before getting it. ParaGard may also make your periods heavier when you first start using it, so heavy bleeders might want to pass.
Lasts for: It's FDA-approved for up to 10 years of use; research suggests it works even longer.
RELATED: 7 Common Birth Control Side Effects
My periods are the worst.
Your pick: A hormonal IUD (Mirena, Skyla or Liletta)
How it works: All three plastic devices release progestin into the uterus. The hormone seems to block sperm from entering your uterus by thickening mucus in your cervix. It may also thin your uterine lining so any eggs that do get fertilized can't implant. A side perk: After one year, about 20 percent of Mirena users stop getting periods; most of the rest menstruate for just one to two days per cycle, says Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine. (Periods return when the IUD is removed.) Mirena can also reduce menstrual cramping.
Never had kids? Skyla, a compact version of Mirena, may fit more comfortably into your smaller uterus. It also stops periods for some women. Lastly, if cost is a factor, ask for Liletta at your local health clinic—this newer version works the same way as the others but can be more affordable.
When to skip it: If you've had breast cancer, your doctor will likely advise against any hormonal birth control.
Lasts for: Skyla and Liletta are approved for up to three years of use, and Mirena for up to five years, but studies show it may be effective for up to six years.
RELATED: The Best Birth Control for You Now
Sticking something up my uterus? No, thank you.
Your pick: A hormonal implant (Nexplanon)
How it works: If you're nervous about IUD insertion, or if your gyno determines that you're not a good candidate, consider Nexplanon, a small, flexible plastic rod that's placed under the skin of your inner upper arm, where it releases progestin into your bloodstream. "You can have it done in five minutes," Dr. Kaunitz says.
When to skip it: Women who've had breast cancer shouldn't use the implant. FYI: Nexplanon can cause spotting. Mirena can, too, but it typically stops after four months; with the implant, it may go on for longer, Dr. Minkin says.
Lasts for: Up to three years.
August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
Find Your Sweet Spot | Health and Burn Weight
This, I believe, is the central question upon which all creative living hinges: Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?
Look, I don't know what's hidden within you. You yourself may barely know, although I suspect you've caught glimpses. I don't know your capacities, your aspirations, your longings, your secret talents. But surely something wonderful is sheltered inside you. I say this with all confidence, because I happen to believe we are all walking repositories of buried treasure. I believe this is one of the oldest and most generous tricks the universe plays on us human beings, both for its own amusement and for ours: The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.
RELATED: Find Your Ultimate Happiness
The hunt to uncover those jewels—that's creative living. The courage to go on that hunt in the first place—that's what separates a mundane existence from a more enchanted one.
The often surprising results of that hunt—that's what I call Big Magic.
When I talk about "creative living" here, please understand that I am not necessarily talking about pursuing a life that is professionally or exclusively devoted to the arts. When I refer to "creative living," I am speaking more broadly. I'm talking about living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.
One of the coolest examples of creative living that I've seen in recent years, for instance, came from my friend Susan, who took up figure skating when she was 40 years old. To be more precise, she actually already knew how to skate. She had competed in figure skating as a child, but she'd quit the sport during adolescence when it became clear she didn't have quite enough talent to be a champion.
RELATED: 12 Worst Habits For Your Mental Health
For the next quarter of a century, Susan did not skate. Then she turned 40. She was restless. She felt drab and heavy. She asked herself when was the last time she'd felt truly light, joyous and—yes—creative in her own skin. To her shock, she realized that the last time she'd experienced such feelings had been as a teenager, back when she was still figure skating. She was appalled to discover that she had denied herself this life-affirming pursuit for so long, and she was curious to see if she still loved it.
So she followed her curiosity. She bought a pair of skates, found a rink, hired a coach. She ignored the voice within her that told her she was being self-indulgent and preposterous to do this crazy thing. She tamped down her feelings of extreme self-consciousness at being the only middle-aged woman on the ice, with all those tiny, feathery nine-year-old girls.
She just did it.
Three mornings a week, Susan awoke before dawn and went skating. And she skated and skated and skated. And yes, she loved it, even more than ever, perhaps, because now, as an adult, she finally had the perspective to appreciate the value of her own joy. Skating made her feel alive and ageless. She stopped feeling like she was nothing more than a consumer, nothing more than the sum of her daily obligations and duties. She was making something of herself, making something with herself.
It was a literal revolution, as she spun to life again on the ice.
Please note that my friend did not quit her job and move to Toronto to study 70 hours a week with an Olympic-level skating coach. And no, this story does not end with her winning any medals. In fact, this story does not end at all, because Susan is still figure skating—simply because skating is still the best way for her to unfold a certain beauty and transcendence within her life. That's what I call creative living.
RELATED: 14 Strategies to Become a Happier Person
And while the paths and outcomes of creative living will vary wildly from person to person, I can guarantee you this: A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner is a fine art, in and of itself.
Scary, scary, scary
Let's talk about courage now. Because creative living is a path for the brave. And we all know that when courage dies, creativity dies with it. We all know that fear is a desolate boneyard where our dreams go to desiccate in the hot sun. This is common knowledge; sometimes we just don't know what to do about it.
Let me list for you some of the many ways in which you might be afraid to live a more creative life: You're afraid you have no talent. You're afraid you'll be rejected or criticized or ridiculed or misunderstood or—worst of all—ignored. You're afraid you don't have the right kind of discipline. You're afraid you're too old to start.
The list is bottomless. I'll just sum up this way: scary, scary, scary.
Everything is so goddamn scary.
Now you probably think I'm going to tell you that you must become fearless in order to live a more creative life. But I'm not. Creativity is a path for the brave, yes, but it is not a path for the fearless, and it's important to recognize the distinction.
Bravery means doing something scary.
Fearlessness means not even understanding what the word scary means.
RELATED: 12 Ways We Sabotage Our Mental Health
If your goal in life is to become fearless, then I believe you're already on the wrong path, because the only truly fearless people I've ever met were straight-up sociopaths and a few exceptionally reckless three-year-olds—and those aren't good role models for anyone.
The truth is, you need your fear, for obvious reasons of basic survival. Evolution did well to install a fear reflex within you, because if you didn't have any fear, you would lead a short, crazy, stupid life. You would walk into traffic. You would drift off into the woods and be eaten by bears. You would marry a guy who said on the first date, "I don't necessarily believe people were designed by nature to be monogamous."
So, yes, you absolutely do need your fear, in order to protect you from actual dangers. But you do not need your fear in the realm of creative expression.
Of course that doesn't mean your fear won't show up. Your fear will always be triggered by your creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcomes. Your fear—programmed by evolution to be insanely overprotective—will always assume that any uncertain outcome is destined to end in a bloody, horrible death. Basically, your fear is like a mall cop who thinks he's a Navy SEAL: He hasn't slept in days, he's all hopped up on Red Bull and he's liable to shoot at his own shadow in an absurd effort to keep everyone "safe."
The road trip
Here's how I've learned to deal with my fear: I made a decision that if I want creativity in my life—and I do—then I will have to make space for fear, too.
Plenty of space.
I decided that I would need to build an expansive enough interior life that my fear and my creativity could peacefully coexist.
RELATED: Start Your Day With This Meditation
In fact, I cordially invite fear to come along with me everywhere I go. I even have a welcoming speech prepared for fear, which I deliver right before embarking upon any new project or big adventure. It goes something like this:
"Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip. I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do. But I will also be doing my job, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There's plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. You're not allowed to suggest detours. You're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."
Then we head off—me and creativity and fear—advancing into the terrifying but marvelous terrain of unknown outcome. It isn't always comfortable or easy but it's always worth it, because if you can't learn to travel comfortably alongside your fear, then you'll never be able to go anywhere interesting. And that would be a pity, because your life is short and rare and amazing, and you want to do really interesting things while you're still here.
RELATED: 22 Ways to Get Happy Now
And you have treasures hidden within you, and so do I, and so does everyone around us. And bringing those treasures to light takes work and faith and devotion, and the clock is ticking, and the world is spinning, and we simply do not have time anymore to think so small.
August 13, 2015 at 02:15AM
Look, I don't know what's hidden within you. You yourself may barely know, although I suspect you've caught glimpses. I don't know your capacities, your aspirations, your longings, your secret talents. But surely something wonderful is sheltered inside you. I say this with all confidence, because I happen to believe we are all walking repositories of buried treasure. I believe this is one of the oldest and most generous tricks the universe plays on us human beings, both for its own amusement and for ours: The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.
RELATED: Find Your Ultimate Happiness
The hunt to uncover those jewels—that's creative living. The courage to go on that hunt in the first place—that's what separates a mundane existence from a more enchanted one.
The often surprising results of that hunt—that's what I call Big Magic.
When I talk about "creative living" here, please understand that I am not necessarily talking about pursuing a life that is professionally or exclusively devoted to the arts. When I refer to "creative living," I am speaking more broadly. I'm talking about living a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear.
One of the coolest examples of creative living that I've seen in recent years, for instance, came from my friend Susan, who took up figure skating when she was 40 years old. To be more precise, she actually already knew how to skate. She had competed in figure skating as a child, but she'd quit the sport during adolescence when it became clear she didn't have quite enough talent to be a champion.
RELATED: 12 Worst Habits For Your Mental Health
For the next quarter of a century, Susan did not skate. Then she turned 40. She was restless. She felt drab and heavy. She asked herself when was the last time she'd felt truly light, joyous and—yes—creative in her own skin. To her shock, she realized that the last time she'd experienced such feelings had been as a teenager, back when she was still figure skating. She was appalled to discover that she had denied herself this life-affirming pursuit for so long, and she was curious to see if she still loved it.
So she followed her curiosity. She bought a pair of skates, found a rink, hired a coach. She ignored the voice within her that told her she was being self-indulgent and preposterous to do this crazy thing. She tamped down her feelings of extreme self-consciousness at being the only middle-aged woman on the ice, with all those tiny, feathery nine-year-old girls.
She just did it.
Three mornings a week, Susan awoke before dawn and went skating. And she skated and skated and skated. And yes, she loved it, even more than ever, perhaps, because now, as an adult, she finally had the perspective to appreciate the value of her own joy. Skating made her feel alive and ageless. She stopped feeling like she was nothing more than a consumer, nothing more than the sum of her daily obligations and duties. She was making something of herself, making something with herself.
It was a literal revolution, as she spun to life again on the ice.
Please note that my friend did not quit her job and move to Toronto to study 70 hours a week with an Olympic-level skating coach. And no, this story does not end with her winning any medals. In fact, this story does not end at all, because Susan is still figure skating—simply because skating is still the best way for her to unfold a certain beauty and transcendence within her life. That's what I call creative living.
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And while the paths and outcomes of creative living will vary wildly from person to person, I can guarantee you this: A creative life is an amplified life. It's a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner is a fine art, in and of itself.
Scary, scary, scary
Let's talk about courage now. Because creative living is a path for the brave. And we all know that when courage dies, creativity dies with it. We all know that fear is a desolate boneyard where our dreams go to desiccate in the hot sun. This is common knowledge; sometimes we just don't know what to do about it.
Let me list for you some of the many ways in which you might be afraid to live a more creative life: You're afraid you have no talent. You're afraid you'll be rejected or criticized or ridiculed or misunderstood or—worst of all—ignored. You're afraid you don't have the right kind of discipline. You're afraid you're too old to start.
The list is bottomless. I'll just sum up this way: scary, scary, scary.
Everything is so goddamn scary.
Now you probably think I'm going to tell you that you must become fearless in order to live a more creative life. But I'm not. Creativity is a path for the brave, yes, but it is not a path for the fearless, and it's important to recognize the distinction.
Bravery means doing something scary.
Fearlessness means not even understanding what the word scary means.
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If your goal in life is to become fearless, then I believe you're already on the wrong path, because the only truly fearless people I've ever met were straight-up sociopaths and a few exceptionally reckless three-year-olds—and those aren't good role models for anyone.
The truth is, you need your fear, for obvious reasons of basic survival. Evolution did well to install a fear reflex within you, because if you didn't have any fear, you would lead a short, crazy, stupid life. You would walk into traffic. You would drift off into the woods and be eaten by bears. You would marry a guy who said on the first date, "I don't necessarily believe people were designed by nature to be monogamous."
So, yes, you absolutely do need your fear, in order to protect you from actual dangers. But you do not need your fear in the realm of creative expression.
Of course that doesn't mean your fear won't show up. Your fear will always be triggered by your creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcomes. Your fear—programmed by evolution to be insanely overprotective—will always assume that any uncertain outcome is destined to end in a bloody, horrible death. Basically, your fear is like a mall cop who thinks he's a Navy SEAL: He hasn't slept in days, he's all hopped up on Red Bull and he's liable to shoot at his own shadow in an absurd effort to keep everyone "safe."
The road trip
Here's how I've learned to deal with my fear: I made a decision that if I want creativity in my life—and I do—then I will have to make space for fear, too.
Plenty of space.
I decided that I would need to build an expansive enough interior life that my fear and my creativity could peacefully coexist.
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In fact, I cordially invite fear to come along with me everywhere I go. I even have a welcoming speech prepared for fear, which I deliver right before embarking upon any new project or big adventure. It goes something like this:
"Dearest Fear: Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip. I understand you'll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do. But I will also be doing my job, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There's plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. You're not allowed to suggest detours. You're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."
Then we head off—me and creativity and fear—advancing into the terrifying but marvelous terrain of unknown outcome. It isn't always comfortable or easy but it's always worth it, because if you can't learn to travel comfortably alongside your fear, then you'll never be able to go anywhere interesting. And that would be a pity, because your life is short and rare and amazing, and you want to do really interesting things while you're still here.
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And you have treasures hidden within you, and so do I, and so does everyone around us. And bringing those treasures to light takes work and faith and devotion, and the clock is ticking, and the world is spinning, and we simply do not have time anymore to think so small.
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