How to Beat Social Media Self-Doubt | Health and Burn Weight

The other day, I was so pleased with an apricot-almond smoothie I made that I decided to post it on Instagram. First, though, I browsed friends' feeds. Forty-five minutes later, I was almost dizzy from the endless slide show of the Perfect Life: one person serenely paddleboarding ("Got the hang of it after one lesson!"), another lounging on a hotel bed ("Just had the best. Massage. Ever"). Oh, and a smoothie—this one perched on a hibiscus-covered balcony over-looking a Caribbean beach. I grabbed my phone and deleted the photo of my now schlumpy drink.



These days, it's gotten impossible to not feel like you're being one-upped online. You ran a 5K? Big deal, when your co-worker posts pictures of her half marathon...for charity. Meanwhile, social media users have perfected the art of simultaneously moaning and boasting, aka moasting: "Someone just asked me what I was studying in college—hello, I'm 34!"



I realize these posts and pretty pictures are often curated and edited. So why do I still have that constant, dispiriting feeling that my own life pales in comparison? In fact, researchers are discovering that being immersed in everyone else's general awesomeness online can be mentally bad for you. A study from the University of Michigan showed that the more time we browse Facebook, the more our sense of well-being drops and lonely feelings jump. One German study reported that after people spent time on Facebook, a full one-third felt frustrated, upset, or envious. (Friends' vacation snaps riled them up the most.)



This feeling is intensified as we increasingly take our relationships online, says psychologist Gregory Jantz, PhD, author of Hooked: The Pitfalls of Media, Technology, and Social Networking. "One of the biggest groups of Facebook users is women age 32 to 45," he notes, "and about 35% of the younger ones admit that the first thing they do after they crawl out of bed, before they go to the bathroom, is check Facebook." Adding to our neediness is the addictive—and sometimes maniacal—pursuit of "likes." According to one consumer-trends survey, 62% of people say they feel better about themselves when others approve of something they post on social media. The flip side is the insecurity that creeps in when only a few people "like" your photo, and the jealousy you feel when a friend's photo gets a flurry of thumbs-ups.



RELATED: 5 Signs You Should Take a Break From Social Media



Of course, it's human nature to want to present your best self to the world. The ancient Egyptians threw on kohl liner and their most stylish linen tunic before hitting the market. "There's something alluring about creating an online persona that says, 'I'm interesting, I have a well-kept home, I eat good food—this is my life!'" says Andrea Bonior, PhD, adjunct professor of psychology at Georgetown University. "We look to our social media profiles to validate what we want to believe about ourselves." Yet this fluff fest can lead to anxiety about being exposed as a fraud, as in living in fear that a high school pal will comment, "Haha, I remember when you had a much larger nose!" beneath your glam picture.



To end the jolts of jealousy, Jantz has a suggestion. When you read a post that leaves you feeling less than ideal, remember that we all scrupulously control our self-image. I know it's true. Recently, I posted a picture of myself and someone commented, "You look amazing!" Well, yes; that's because I held the camera so high above my head, it could have been a satellite photo from space. (Whereas if I look down at my phone, my reflection bears a startling likeness to Donald Trump.)



RELATED: 9 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic



It also helps to be aware of what sets off self-doubt. "If you hate your old kitchen, maybe you shouldn't repeatedly check out Mary's kitchen renovation," Bonior says. My downfall is others' fitness triumphs. A few shots of a friend's cyclo-cross race are inspiring; scrolling through hundreds makes me think, Why bother? and shuffle off to the couch. Timing is another trigger. I look at these fabulous pics before bed, when I'm tired and need to decompress—exactly when I feel the most sensitive.



Another cyber solution is to fully get behind your posts. As Bonior says, "You can choose to use others' experiences as a yardstick, or you can believe your standards are valid in and of themselves." Also, back away from the computer—often. "Relationships are best conducted in real life," Jantz says, "not 140-character sound bites."



Jantz's words were on my mind when I saw a friend's Instagram shots of a trip to Greece. Instead of caving in to jealousy, I called and told her that her photos were like a Ralph Lauren ad. She laughed and said, "Don't look too close or you'll see that my eyes are red." Ten minutes beforehand, she and her husband had had a big money fight; the trip, she conceded, was great but had been a costly mistake. We commiserated about finances and made plans to meet. I felt a surge of pleasure as I hung up.



RELATED: 22 Ways to Get Happy Now



Now if insecurity sneaks up on me while I'm online, I take it as a sign to switch gears and go for a run, make another unphotogenic smoothie or check out the YouTube clip my mother sent of, say, a Speedo-clad squirrel eating an ice cream cone. Also, maybe I'll avoid Beyoncé's Instagram account altogether.



December 23, 2014 at 02:14AM

14 Holiday Health Hazards to Avoid | Health and Burn Weight

Check out these top holiday health risks and what you can do to avoid them. November 22, 2014 at 02:14AM

21 Holiday Health Mistakes | Health and Burn Weight

Why is it so hard to stay healthy during the holiday season? November 21, 2014 at 02:14AM

28 New Year's Resolutions to Look and Feel Better | Health and Burn Weight

Simple goals to eat healthy foods, make time for workouts, and feel healthier than you did the year before. November 21, 2014 at 02:14AM

25 Ways to Fight Holiday Stress | Health and Burn Weight

Do you get stressed-out around the holidays? These 25 expert tips will help you relax and actually enjoy the holidays. November 21, 2014 at 02:14AM

6 Signs You're Too Stressed About the Holidays | Health and Burn Weight

It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. Only there you are, battling your way to the cash register among hordes of mall shoppers, staying up until all hours to bake festive treats and listening to relatives bicker at family get-togethers. But are your Grinch feelings normal—or do you need to do things differently to better handle the holidays? To assess your level of stress, check off any of the following statements to which you relate.



1. 'Ugh, not another party.'

Do you feel so exhausted that holiday gatherings aren't much fun?



2. 'If I don't make five kinds of holiday cookies, my kids will be disappointed.'

Do you worry that if you don't go all-out, your family and friends will be let down?



3. 'My to-do list is as long as my arm—oy.'

Feel like the holiday details are burying you?



4. 'This Christmas music is really driving me up a wall.'

Are you finding it difficult to get into the spirit of the season day after day?



5. 'I forgot to pick up stamps, again! Why am I even bothering to mail cards?'

Are you increasingly forgetful or resentful?



6. 'Please—just get me to January alive!'

Do you secretly wish it will all be over soon so life can return to normal?



If you ticked off two or more statements, then you've got seasonal overstress. It's not uncommon; numerous studies have found that for many people, the holidays are the most overwhelming part of the year, and women are even more affected than men. (Hardly shocking.) But not only is the tension you feel irksome, it could harm your health. Having high levels of stress for a month or two bathes your brain in cortisol, which can induce depression and even damage brain cells. It also causes fatigue, irritability and weight gain, so don't blame the snowflake cookies. Reality check: Despite the multitude of Pinterest holiday craft and decorations boards, there are no requirements when it comes to celebrating. After all, there are endless ways to enjoy the season without freaking out. Some proven tactics:



Remake a list, don't check it twice

Jot down your top priorities for the month, leaving off anything that is not an absolute must. Be brutal: Do you really have to host more than one holiday meal or go to every single party? Then delegate what you can. Even though more men and women are sharing household responsibilities these days, the holidays have a way of returning everyone to traditional roles. So give your partner a list of his own to-dos—whether it's shopping for gifts for the kids or hauling out the holiday decorations.



Be real about family fun

Expecting relatives to be one big happy family can lead to letdown if yours aren't the kind who get along for extended periods. Instead, aim for one big calm family. If relatives are coming, don't leave chunks of unstructured time when they can get on one another's nerves. Organize activities, like a Monopoly championship or a movie screening. You can also suggest that guests relax with a book or take a walk outside. (See you later, grouchy Aunt Lorraine!) If you're visiting family for, say, a holiday brunch, it might help to have an escape plan—tell them, for example, that you'll stop by but can't stay all day.



Keep up fitness

Most of us ease up on exercising regularly during the holiday season because we're so short on time. But that's a big mistake. Even squeezing in a 15-minute run several times a week or a nightly after-dinner walk will improve your mood and make you feel a lot less stressed-out.



Remember: The thought actually does count

Often our perfectionism drives us to shop, shop, shop for the perfect presents—racking up time and frustration (not to mention credit card bills). The truth is, people want to know that you thought of them and value them; that's the biggest gift. A small or homemade item with a note that says how much the person means to you year-round will end up being a bigger hit than a pricey present.



Focus on what the holidays signify to you

For some, the holidays are about time spent with family; for others, religious observance is key. Own your meaning. Talk to your kids about it. Share the spirit with people you love, and let the trappings be optional. Reflecting for just a few minutes each day on the significance of the holidays and why you appreciate them can help keep you centered. Then again, it's also good to take occasional breaks from the holly-jolly stuff. Whip up something not the least bit festive (barbecue, anyone?). Go to the library. Make some summer plans. Trust me: That Holiday Tablescape board can wait.



Avoid Holiday Body Downers



Stay in good cheer with tips from Melinda Ring, MD, medical director of the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at Northwestern University.



Upset stomach : Dr. Ring's favorite way to stave off the effects of overindulging: Dilute 1 to 2 teaspoons of unfiltered apple cider vinegar—known to aid digestion—in a glass of water and sip before you head to the party buffet.



Back pain : "Musculoskeletal tension in the shoulders and back is common during the holidays, thanks to the extra heel-wearing and package-lugging," Dr. Ring says. Don't carry too much at once; pick up a foam roller to release tight spots; and rock cute medium-high heels if you'll be on your feet all night.



Insomnia : If never-ending to-dos are dancing in your head at bedtime, Dr. Ring suggests having a snack rich in tryptophan and complex carbs. Try a couple of slices of leftover turkey in a small whole-wheat wrap or a slice of cheese with whole-grain crackers.



Heartburn :"Rich treats like buttery cookies and greasy meats can relax your lower esophageal sphincter and cause acid reflux," Dr. Ring says. "Try a marshmallow root or slippery elm supplement beforehand to coat and protect your GI tract." (Check with your doc first if you're pregnant, breast-feeding or taking other meds or supplements.) November 14, 2014 at 02:14AM

Test Your Sleep IQ | Health and Burn Weight

By now, we all know that sleep has major health benefits. Everything from mood to memory is affected by the quality of your slumber. Take our quiz to find out the best type of pillows, sleeping positions, and more, to help you get a better night's sleep.



1. Which of these sleep items actually exists?



A. Vegan mattresses



B. Blankets that change color when you're feeling relaxed



C. Scarves that convert into pillows



D. All of the above



Answer: D



Yep, they're real. Organic and vegan mattresses have become a thing, as has the Sleeper Scarf, with its built-in blow-up neck pillow ($65; sleeperscarf.com). British Airways' mood blankets are in the product-development stage—the airline is hoping the blankets will give it a heads-up on how chilled-out passengers are. Kind of creepy, no?



2. A pet in your bed:



Comforting sleep friend



Slumber bummer



Answer: Sorry, Snookums.



A whopping 63 percent of people who shared a bed with a pet for more than four nights a week experienced poor sleep, according to new research from the University of Kansas. "You would be surprised by how many patients who co-sleep with Fido tell us their pet wakes them up, but they won't move it off the bed—let alone out of the room," says sleep expert Steven M. Scharf, MD, professor of medicine at the University of Maryland. Lock the bedroom door and hold strong, even if whimpering ensues; within a few days, your pet should adapt.



3. Which dinner could disrupt your sleep?



A rich meal (like pasta with Alfredo sauce)



vs.



A super spicy meal (like flaming hot wings)



Answer: The spicy food



A heavy meal might cause indigestion before bed, but research suggests that eating spicy food will make you spend less time in both the light and deep phases of sleep. The spices may affect the cooling process your body goes through at bedtime, throwing your sleep cycle off. So have those wings mild.



4. Which is the best sleep position?



A. Stomach



B. Side



C. Fetal



D. Back



Answer: D



Conking out on your back puts your head, neck and spine in a neutral position, which provides you with good support, explains Steven Diamant, DC, a chiropractor in New York City. The only people for whom back-sleeping isn't ideal: snorers. If you sound like a freight train, consider rolling onto your side.



5. Which is the best kind of pillow for a good night's sleep?



A. Firm and contoured



B. Feathery and flat



C. Either is fine



Answer: A



Your perfect pillow: One that fills the gap between your head and neck—overly soft pillows don't provide adequate support. And mattress texture doesn't affect quality of sleep, experts say; all that matters is that it feels comfortable.



6. The number of pillows the typical American uses when sleeping:



A. 1



B. 2



C. 3



Answer: B



The good news: There's no harm in two, if you like the extra support. But if you tend to stack old, flattened pillows? That's a different story. They could be full of dust mites, mold, dead skin cells and fungi, which can cause your allergies and sinus issues to rage. It may be hard to say good-bye, but you'll sleep better for it.



7. Match the celebrity to her sleep wisdom.



A. Halle Berry



B. Beyoncé



C. Mindy Kaling



D. Christina Aguilera



1. "If you are active during your day, you will be so exhausted you can't help but fall asleep."



2. "I love to sleep. When I'm rested, I'm at my best."



3. "People spend money on beauty potions, but a good night's rest makes all the difference."



4. "I have the sleep patterns of a 12-year-old boy, so I could sleep until 2 in the afternoon."



Answer: A: 2; B: 1; C: 4; D, 3



8. Which drink may help you nod off faster?



A. Green smoothie



B. Cherry juice



C. Coconut water



Answer: B



"Tart cherry juice has melatonin, a hormone that regulates the sleep-wake cycle, and there's some evidence it can help with relaxing and falling asleep," says Shelby Harris, PsyD, a clinical psychologist board-certified in behavioral sleep medicine. "That said, guzzling the juice won't solve serious sleep disorders like chronic insomnia." Not into sour stuff? A soothing cup of herbal tea like chamomile may ease anxiety, adds Alcibiades Rodriguez, MD, assistant professor at the NYU Langone Medical Center and director of the New York Sleep Institute.



9. You're lying in bed and can't fall asleep. Which mental trick should you do?



A. Count sheep



B. Imagine a scenic landscape



C. Neither is effective



Answer: B



Although your mom may have suggested the sheep remedy, scientists from Oxford University found that the technique didn't help people pass out any faster—perhaps because it's so darn tedious. What did work: picturing calming scenery like a beach or a trickling stream. Folks who did just that fell asleep 20 minutes sooner. Find your go-to happy place next time you're having trouble nodding off.



10. True or false: You sleep less during a full moon.



Answer: True



People log 20 to 25 fewer minutes of sleep on average during a full moon than on nights with a quarter moon, according to a recent study in the journal Current Biology. Although there's been some debate about this phenomenon, researchers say it's possible we have a built-in "lunar clock" that regulates our daily rhythms, similar to our circadian clock.



11. What is wrong with this picture?



Answer: Joe Biden is clearly burning the candle at both ends. Yes, he's also helping to run the country. But experts say a whole lot of us are guilty of skimping on shut-eye. "Most people think they need only five to six hours of sleep to function, but they really need seven to nine," say Meir Kryger, MD, professor at the Yale School of Medicine and author of The iGuide to Sleep. Superhuman you're not; consider sleep a necessity rather than a luxury.



12. Rank these pre-bed activities from best at relaxing you to worst.



A. Reading



B. Watching a show you love



C. Taking a hot bath



D. Stretching



Answer: D, A, B, C



A light stretch wins at putting your body in a peaceful state. "Many of my patients have a lot of success with doing very gentle relaxation stretching and deep-breathing exercises before bed," Harris says. Try the Happy Baby yoga pose to Zen out—lie on your back, bend your knees into your chest and grab the outsides of your feet with your hands. Keep your feet flexed as you rock gently from side to side for 10 breaths. As for the other activities: Books may relax a busy mind (as long as they're not thrillers), but the light from the TV can keep your body in awake mode. And surprise! A hot bath is not a good sleep aid, because it warms your body when it needs to cool down for sleep. Take one at least two hours prior to bed so you have time to chill.



IF YOU GOT...



1 TO 4 ANSWERS CORRECT



Wake-up call: Some of your habits may be harming your slumber. Now get to bed, ladies.



5 TO 8 ANSWERS CORRECT



Eye-opening: While you know a good deal about maximizing shut-eye, you could stand (or lie down!) to put some tips to use.



9 TO 12 ANSWERS CORRECT



Master of sleep: Congrats on your expertise—you have the know-how to get the z's you need. Catch you on the flip side!



October 29, 2014 at 01:14AM

10 Rules for Raising a Healthy Dog | Health and Burn Weight

Are you prepared to keep your pet healthy and happy long term? Here are the rules you should know, from training to feeding to keeping it stress-free. October 10, 2014 at 02:14AM

Snuggle Up With The New Cuddlr App | Health and Burn Weight

Need a hug after a hard day, but don't have any arms to cling to? Cuddlr, a location-based iPhone app like the infamous Tinder, solves that problem by connecting you with nearby strangers looking for a platonic snuggle. Check out this Time.com video to find out more about this unusual service. September 25, 2014 at 02:14AM

12 Things That Probably Don't Increase Breast Cancer Risk | Health and Burn Weight

We expose the myths, urban legends, and old wives' tales surrounding what causes breast cancer. September 25, 2014 at 02:14AM

15 Worst Things You Can Say to Someone Battling Breast Cancer | Health and Burn Weight

Hearing the words "breast cancer" from a loved one might make you curious and afraid, but you'll want to avoid these insensitive remarks. September 24, 2014 at 02:14AM

19 Medical Tests Everyone Needs | Health and Burn Weight

When you're a kid, your mom takes you for scheduled checkups. As an adult, you need a bewildering amount of medical upkeep—and nobody ever lays it all out for you. But we did. Score more time and cash with this complete guide. September 18, 2014 at 02:14AM

CVS Pulls Cigarettes From Shelves | Health and Burn Weight

CVS had already said it would stop selling tobacco products this year, but the company rid its shelves of all tobacco products nearly a month earlier than anticipated. They also announced more changes behind the counter to promote smoking cessation. Watch this Time.com video to learn more. September 04, 2014 at 02:14AM

Cost-Cutting Tips for Seniors | Health and Burn Weight

It's no secret that medical costs are rising. Here's how to fight back. August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

100 Ways to Become a Healthier Family | Health and Burn Weight

Tips and recipes to keep your family healthy and happy August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

12 Ways Pets Improve Your Health | Health and Burn Weight

It's no secret that pets make you feel good. Here, 12 ways they make a real impact on your mental and physical wellbeing. August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

5 Tips for Staying Active With Kids and Family | Health and Burn Weight

If you’ve got kids, of course you want to make sure they grow up fit and healthy. But you also know it’s hard to juggle work, family, and physical activity. Still, setting a healthy example is a good start. So if you’re looking for ways to get your kids involved, check out these tips. August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

Secrets to a Healthy (Happy!) Home | Health and Burn Weight

August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

10 Habits of Healthy Families | Health and Burn Weight

August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

4 Ways to Boost Sexual Compatibility | Health and Burn Weight

You'd never guess that my client Lydia—who is beautiful, smart and funny—wasn't having sex as often as she'd like. Her husband, Harry, thought once a week was plenty, but Lydia wanted to do it every day. While she'd always been a little more hot to trot than he was, the gap—and ensuing tension—had only increased. "Don't men usually demand sex all the time?" she asked. "What's wrong with me?"



Julia had the opposite problem. She and Stuart had felt sexually compatible from the start, but with three children under 7, Julia had gone from being "slightly less aggressive" to far more interested in sleeping than making love. By the time they came to see me, Stuart and Julia hadn't done the deed in three months.



It's natural to fall a little out of step with your partner after you've been together for a while. Maybe—as in that famous scene from Annie Hall—the amount of sex you're having feels like a ton to you and nothing to him. Perhaps one of you wants to try something that the other isn't into, or suddenly it seems like there's nothing he can do to turn you on.



Related: 15 Everyday Habits to Boost Your Libido



Here's a bit of biology: When you fall in love, your body releases the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine. You're flying so high that attraction feels effortless, and since you want to please your new partner, it's fun to try new things out with him. But eventually your dopamine output dips to more normal levels as familiarity and friendship develop between the two of you over time. While these are very lovely qualities to have in a relationship, they can be directly at odds with desire.



Sometimes being out of sync is simply about being too damn busy for sex (like if one of you is returning home late from work and the other is crashing early) or about one person becoming the only instigator. Or you just experienced a hiccup (such as taking a break from romance after your kid was born) that grew into a bad habit. Whatever the reason, you've entered the Sexual Frustration Zone. Luckily, there's a way out.



1. Don't settle for just so-so



You might say to yourself, Sex isn't that important as long as we get along. But as I've seen in my practice, that's the case only when both members truly have zero interest in sex, which is fairly rare. What happens much more often is that one person says, "I'm fine with not having sex!" while the other person is not fine with it. At all. It's a situation that can actually lead to the demise of a relationship, even one that's strong in every other department, because the more in tune you are sexually, the more tools you have as a couple to right your ship during tough times—whether you're facing health scares, money woes or family drama.



Related: Best and Worst Foods for Sex



2. Steal alone time



I can't emphasize this one enough! I know—it seems impossible. It's so worth it, though, to get a sitter—once a week, if you can—and have some relaxed fun with each other outside the bedroom to get those dopamine levels back up. This is the ideal time to raise the idea of trying new things, whether it's having sex somewhere besides the bedroom or upping the romance factor. Most men want to please, but they aren't mind readers, so be clear: "I'd like you to help me get the kids in bed so I have energy to rock your world afterward."



3. Check in with your MD



If you and your partner are still a little off-kilter in the intimacy department, there may be a medical issue—it could be anything from depression to diabetes or even heart disease—that's to blame. Taking medications such as (ironically) antidepressants can also blunt sex drive. And while a dip in testosterone levels is normal for men as they age, a big hormonal drop can lead to a loss of libido.



Related: 20 Weird Facts About Sex and Love



4. Talk it out



Maybe after trying all that, you just can't seem to get in the mood when he is. Or your ideas of fun still don't mesh: Do you looove foreplay while he always jumps straight into the main event? It never hurts to ask for help from a pro. Yes, opening up about your sexual frustrations can be hard, especially to a stranger. But a certified sex therapist can give you assignments designed to tackle the specific issues you two are having. She might suggest giving each other a massage with instructions not to have sex, for instance, to take away any pressure. Even chatting with a couples therapist can help you understand what's really at play. You may need only a few sessions to get back in step—both in the bedroom and out of it.



August 27, 2014 at 02:14AM

The Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS | Health and Burn Weight

If you've seen people all over your newsfeed dumping buckets of ice water on themselves, you're not alone. The Ice Bucket Challenge is ironically one of the hottest things on social media as it tries to raise money for ALS charities. Watch this Time.com video to learn more. August 12, 2014 at 02:14AM

Forget Waist-Up Wearable Tech: Smart Shoes on the Way? | Health and Burn Weight

Many analysts say wearable technology such as Google Glass is the wave of the future, and in India, they're getting on board with smart shoes that connect to your phone via Bluetooth. The shoes vibrate when you need to turn and count footsteps as well as calories burned. Watch this Time video to learn more. July 30, 2014 at 02:14AM

10 Things That Mess With Your Period | Health and Burn Weight

Reasons why your period is heavy, erratic, or missing altogether—and what to do about it. July 29, 2014 at 02:14AM

7 Ways to Stop Procrastinating | Health and Burn Weight

Choices are never easy, especially when it comes to life's big ones. Phoebe, 39, came to see me one day, distraught after learning from a doctor that she might not be able to conceive. "How long have you been trying?" I asked. "On and off for eight months," she told me. Even though she had always wanted a baby and had been married for seven years, she confessed that she'd had a lot of trouble committing to getting pregnant. She didn't understand why; in fact, she'd had a similar problem deciding whether or not to marry her (very) long-term boyfriend, to the point that she almost lost him.



Of course, getting married and starting a family aren't decisions you enter into lightly, but Phoebe had a major case of life procrastination. That's what I call voluntarily putting off something you truly want to do, despite knowing that you'll probably be worse off because of the delay.



People tend to think of procrastination in terms of concrete to-dos—waiting until the last minute to turn in a work report, say, or paying bills late. But it can also take hold when making life decisions both small and large, from Should I join a gym? to Do I ask for a raise? These missed opportunities can damage your career or relationship and also give you a nagging, frustrating feeling that you're stuck in a rut of your own making.



MORE: 12 Ways We Sabotage Our Mental Health



Research shows that about 20 percent of adults are chronic procrastinators, but many more of us occasionally put off until tomorrow what we need—and even want—to do today. Yet for the most part, we don't realize that it's happening or that, in the process, we're undermining our own happiness. Procrastinators tend to be far more stressed than those who don't have this habit; they get sick more often, too. If you can suck it up and act, however, you'll find your day-to-day a lot more pleasant and rewarding: Your mind will be released from all that ruminating and second-guessing, paving the way for other opportunities. After all, life is richest when filled with milestones and accomplishments—not with regrets of what you should've and would've done, if only.



So why would a woman push off a marriage or baby she really wants? Why would someone stay in a job she no longer likes? It's not that they're lazy or overly laid-back. Life procrastinators may dread failure. They may have a fear of success, an urge to be defiant, a perfectionist streak or a need to take risks—all of which can get in the way when trying to make a decision. Take my diagnostic quiz to see if you are a life procrastinator, then keep reading to discover what's driving your indecision and find real-world solutions that will finally set you free.



'I don't want to fail'



If you're so afraid of being bad (or, worse, just OK) at something that you'd rather not try it at all, here's a news flash: You're a perfectionist. Perhaps you hardly ever work out because you'd feel terrible if you killed yourself at the gym but couldn't lose the last 10 pounds or hone that six-pack. Carrying this to the extreme, you may also believe that you are only lovable and worthwhile if your performance at everything is nothing less than outstanding.



MORE: 19 Natural Remedies for Anxiety



Try this: The next time you're hemming and hawing over something you could crash and burn at, take a page from Sheryl Sandberg and tell yourself, Done is better than perfect. Chances are, no one will notice if the results aren't up to your exacting standards; they'll just be impressed that you got results, period.



'I'm afraid of being successful'



On the flip side, some of us become paralyzed by imagining that if we excel, we will be expected to keep performing at that level. Or we freak out that the achievement would change our lives in unpredictable and uncontrollable ways. Concerns you may have: If I ask for that promotion and get it, who's going to help out with the kids if I have to put in more hours at the office? Are my work friends going to stop inviting me to lunch?



Try this: Accept uncertainty. The reality is that any choice you make (even if you decide to keep things status quo) will have upsides and downsides. Imagining the potential negatives (My friend at work will be so jealous) and telling yourself that it will work out (She'll deal, or else I'll find a new confidant) can help you stop obsessing and start doing. Worried that you'll be less available for your loved ones? That's a classic fear of success. Keep in mind that if and when you accept a new position or job, you can set boundaries at the outset. Thing is, you can't do that unless you apply first.



'I don't want to be told what to do'



You aim—fine, you need—to be in charge. You probably grew up with an authoritarian parent who was very controlling. Unfortunately, now you're asserting yourself by delaying things that must be addressed, like making basic updates to your circa-1950s kitchen. Your story is: "Hey! No one can order me around!"—even though no one really is—"I'll do it on my terms!" Which may be never.



Try this: When you find yourself resisting a change, ask yourself how you're really feeling at heart. Indecision often masks anxiety, sadness or anger. Perhaps your parents were always fighting about money, so even though you have the cash to renovate, you feel stressed-out about spending it. Figuring out which emotion is stopping you from acting can make a decision clearer because it becomes more obvious that the conflict over taking action is coming from you. In other words, you are fighting only yourself.



'I get a rush out of doing things last-minute'



Some put-offers aren't anxious at all: They thrive on the excitement of scrambling to hit deadlines, often because they find the daily grind boring—and boredom terrifying. A thrill seeker who wants to go on some fantasy vacation, such as a boat cruise in the Galapagos, may delay purchasing tickets but keep checking to see how many spots are left until, finally, she is forced to commit because the trip is almost booked.



MORE: 25 Surprising Ways Stress Affects Your Health



Try this: If you're always telling yourself that you're at your best when under pressure, prove it (in a small, innocuous way). Do a task—like tossing in a load of laundry or completing your expenses at work—at the last minute, as usual. Then one day perform that same chore ahead of schedule. You'll most likely notice that your overall routine seems a little saner and that you have more free time on your hands when you knock stuff off early. Even better: You'll have a full underwear drawer—and a cool trip to look forward to.



3 Everyday Ways to Just Do It

Quick tips that will help you tackle those little things you put off, courtesy of John Perry, PhD, author of The Art of Procrastination.



NAG YOURSELF

It's hard to ignore in-your-face reminders. Put Post-its on the fridge at night with a list of errands for the next day. Program your computer to send alerts, or try a task-manager app like Any.do. Place the bag of clothes to return to the store right by the door so you have to take it with you.



THINK OF AN OMINOUS TASK

Maybe it's changing the oil in your car or cleaning out the attic. Soon you'll find yourself doing what you really need to do because it's better than the dreaded chore. It's all relative: Some activities may be mundane, but they're not nearly as bad as an oil change.



MAKE TINIER TO-DOS

For instance, instead of writing, Send thank-you cards, jot down, 1. Find thank-you cards. 2. Write them out. 3. Address envelopes. Why it works: The thrill of checking off all those little tasks makes you feel so successful that you're revved to keep on going. Mission, accomplished.



July 29, 2014 at 02:14AM

FDA Approves Painkiller Designed to Deter Abuse | Health and Burn Weight

The FDA approved a new drug that combines oxycodone with another drug that will make the pills useless if patients crush them to get high. The FDA has been under growing pressure to fight the national epidemic of prescription opioid abuse. Watch this Time video to learn more. July 26, 2014 at 02:14AM

This is the First Woman Ever to Qualify For 'American Ninja Warrior' Finals | Health and Burn Weight

Kacy Catanzaro, a former Division 1 gymnast, became the first woman to reach the finals of NBC's competition show 'American Ninja Warrior.' Watch the 5-foot Catanzaro totally dominate the obstacle course. July 18, 2014 at 02:14AM

6 Things You Should Know About Water (But Probably Don't) | Health and Burn Weight

Whatever the latest food trend—chia seeds, coconut flour, kale chips—you're on it. But you might be skimping on the most basic thing you can do for your health: chugging enough water.



"I see this happening a lot with busy women," notes Pamela Peeke, MD, professor of medicine at the University of Maryland and author of Body for Life for Women. "They become so absorbed with work, answering e-mails and texting that they neglect to grab a water bottle." Soon they're parched and draggy.



Other signs of mild dehydration: muscle cramps, dizziness and headaches. Women who are even slightly dehydrated may find it harder to concentrate than those who aren't, according to a recent study in The Journal of Nutrition. And if your body is regularly running low on water, you're more likely to be constipated, too.



Dehydration tends to happen most during the summer months. "On top of transporting nutrients to your cells and protecting your kidneys, water regulates body temperature," Dr. Peeke explains. As you heat up, your skin starts pumping out water to cool you off, which can put you at a deficit if you're not careful. But don't sweat it—our expert guide makes it easy to stay quenched all season long.



Related: 15 Surprising Causes of Dehydration



How much fluid should I drink every day?

You've probably heard you should have eight glasses daily, but it turns out that's a little low. (This popular recommendation has been around mainly because it's easy to remember—8 ounces eight times per day.) "A good baseline is 2.2 liters, or about 9 cups of fluid a day," Dr. Peeke says. You may need even more if you're overweight, live at a high altitude or are working in extremely hot weather, all of which are dehydrating factors. Experts agree that your best gauge is that time-tested one: checking your pee. "You want it to be the color of lemonade," says Kim Larson, RDN, spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. If it's medium to dark yellow, down a glass, stat. Sorry, but you don't get any bonus points for clear urine, a sign that you're actually drinking more than you need. According to a major review published in the Journal of the American Society of Nephrology, there's no significant evidence that guzzling extra glasses will help flush your body of toxins, improve skin tone or reduce headaches any better than being adequately hydrated will.



But wait—don't I have to get more when I exercise?

That depends. If you'll be indoors and have managed to stay hydrated all day before the workout, then no. But if you're in the summer heat, you can easily sweat out the equivalent of 4 cups of fluid in an hour-long outdoor session. In that case, drink 20 ounces of water an hour before, and try to take in about one half of a cup during every 15 minutes of activity, Larson advises. Going for a jog first thing in the morning? Have a drink beforehand. And if you're training for a marathon or playing a sport for a few hours, weigh yourself before and after, says Leslie Bonci, RD, a sports nutritionist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center: "For every pound you've lost during your workout, drink 24 ounces of fluid to get hydrated again."



Related: 14 Reasons You're Always Tired



Does my daily morning coffee count?

Surprise: It does, per a new study from the University of Birmingham in England. Researchers asked java drinkers to sip either coffee or water and found that caffeine isn't dehydrating. There's a caveat, though. If you never drink caffeine and then have a cup of coffee, it acts as a diuretic and draws water from your body, explains Leslie Spry, MD, spokesperson for the National Kidney Foundation. "But if you have coffee regularly," he adds, "your body becomes habituated and it doesn't have the same effect." Other beverages, including tea, milk, OJ and sports drinks, also work, although you don't want to overcaffeinate or down too much sugar. What to avoid? Soft drinks, even diet kinds. "They have salt, which dehydrates you," Dr. Peeke says. "So many women think, Ahh, how refreshing! But soda just sucks fluid out of your cells."



How much does the water that I consume from foods like fruit matter?

Water in food accounts for about 20 percent of people's daily fluid needs, according to the Institute of Medicine. "And the hydration you get from food is just as good as what you get from drinking water," says Dr. Peeke. For example, a grilled chicken breast, served with cauliflower and one-half cup of spinach, nets you almost a full cup of water. There's even a hidden perk to watery bites: They may help you slim down. (Here are 7 Foods That Help You Lose Pounds.)



If I drink a lot one day, does it make a difference if I don't have as much the next?

Reality check: You are not a camel. Human bodies weren't designed to store excess water. "After a couple of hours, you just pee it out," says Bonci. The reality is, you need to reach your H2O goal every single day to sidestep energy dips and other health troubles. If you tend to skimp, especially at times when you've got a lot going on, tap an app to help; try Waterlogged, which will send you reminders to drink up. The good news is that even if you get seriously thirsty and realize that you haven't been drinking enough water, your body will rebound after you down a glass or two. Cheers!



Related: 21 Natural Ways to Treat Headaches



Do I need a water filter?

Despite mandated monitoring, "there can still be trace amounts of impurities in tap water, including lead that leaches from plumbing," explains Cheryl Luptowski, home-safety expert for NSF International. Even very low levels of lead in water have been linked to cognitive issues, particularly in children. First, call your supplier to get your water report. A simple carbon filter may be enough. But if there's just a tiny bit of arsenic, lead or perchlorates, you'll need a home filtration system designed for your issues. Compare models at nsf.org. Cost: $150 to $1,000.



H2Glow

Four sneaky things that parch your skin—and how to keep your complexion radiant:



The superhigh office AC

"Cool air lacks humidity—which means it takes water from elsewhere, including your skin," says Debra Jaliman, MD, author of Skin Rules. Apply a refreshing gel moisturizer with hyaluronic acid, which locks in water better than your average moisturizer. Try SkinCeuticals Hydrating B5 gel ($78; Amazon.com).



Fun in the sun

Exposure can deplete your skin's natural oils, even if you wear sunscreen. And pool chlorine can be extremely drying, so shower off ASAP and rub in lotion while skin is still damp. At night, apply a facial moisturizer with glycolic acid, such as Olay Regenerist Night Resurfacing Elixir ($30; Amazon.com).



Happy hour

Alcohol is dehydrating, and summer faves like margaritas and Bloody Marys are also salty. Head off problems by having a glass of water between drinks—with a cute little cocktail umbrella, if it helps.



Your bedtime routine

You may be tempted to use an alcohol-based toner in the summertime to clear up excess oil, but it can leave your skin too dry. Better to go with an oil-removing cleanser. Try Biore Deep Pore Charcoal cleanser ($8; Walgreens.com).



July 11, 2014 at 02:14AM

Just How Common Are Shark Bites? | Health and Burn Weight

A California swimmer was bitten by a great white shark off the coast of Manhattan Beach, but how often do sharks really bite humans? Watch the video from Time.com to learn more. July 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

4 Ways to Boost Sexual Compatibility | Health and Burn Weight

You'd never guess that my client Lydia—who is beautiful, smart and funny—wasn't having sex as often as she'd like. Her husband, Harry, thought once a week was plenty, but Lydia wanted to do it every day. While she'd always been a little more hot to trot than he was, the gap—and ensuing tension—had only increased. "Don't men usually demand sex all the time?" she asked. "What's wrong with me?"



Julia had the opposite problem. She and Stuart had felt sexually compatible from the start, but with three children under 7, Julia had gone from being "slightly less aggressive" to far more interested in sleeping than making love. By the time they came to see me, Stuart and Julia hadn't done the deed in three months.



It's natural to fall a little out of step with your partner after you've been together for a while. Maybe—as in that famous scene from Annie Hall—the amount of sex you're having feels like a ton to you and nothing to him. Perhaps one of you wants to try something that the other isn't into, or suddenly it seems like there's nothing he can do to turn you on.



Related: 15 Everyday Habits to Boost Your Libido



Here's a bit of biology: When you fall in love, your body releases the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine. You're flying so high that attraction feels effortless, and since you want to please your new partner, it's fun to try new things out with him. But eventually your dopamine output dips to more normal levels as familiarity and friendship develop between the two of you over time. While these are very lovely qualities to have in a relationship, they can be directly at odds with desire.



Sometimes being out of sync is simply about being too damn busy for sex (like if one of you is returning home late from work and the other is crashing early) or about one person becoming the only instigator. Or you just experienced a hiccup (such as taking a break from romance after your kid was born) that grew into a bad habit. Whatever the reason, you've entered the Sexual Frustration Zone. Luckily, there's a way out.



1. Don't settle for just so-so



You might say to yourself, Sex isn't that important as long as we get along. But as I've seen in my practice, that's the case only when both members truly have zero interest in sex, which is fairly rare. What happens much more often is that one person says, "I'm fine with not having sex!" while the other person is not fine with it. At all. It's a situation that can actually lead to the demise of a relationship, even one that's strong in every other department, because the more in tune you are sexually, the more tools you have as a couple to right your ship during tough times—whether you're facing health scares, money woes or family drama.



Related: Best and Worst Foods for Sex



2. Steal alone time



I can't emphasize this one enough! I know—it seems impossible. It's so worth it, though, to get a sitter—once a week, if you can—and have some relaxed fun with each other outside the bedroom to get those dopamine levels back up. This is the ideal time to raise the idea of trying new things, whether it's having sex somewhere besides the bedroom or upping the romance factor. Most men want to please, but they aren't mind readers, so be clear: "I'd like you to help me get the kids in bed so I have energy to rock your world afterward."



3. Check in with your MD



If you and your partner are still a little off-kilter in the intimacy department, there may be a medical issue—it could be anything from depression to diabetes or even heart disease—that's to blame. Taking medications such as (ironically) antidepressants can also blunt sex drive. And while a dip in testosterone levels is normal for men as they age, a big hormonal drop can lead to a loss of libido.



Related: 20 Weird Facts About Sex and Love



4. Talk it out



Maybe after trying all that, you just can't seem to get in the mood when he is. Or your ideas of fun still don't mesh: Do you looove foreplay while he always jumps straight into the main event? It never hurts to ask for help from a pro. Yes, opening up about your sexual frustrations can be hard, especially to a stranger. But a certified sex therapist can give you assignments designed to tackle the specific issues you two are having. She might suggest giving each other a massage with instructions not to have sex, for instance, to take away any pressure. Even chatting with a couples therapist can help you understand what's really at play. You may need only a few sessions to get back in step—both in the bedroom and out of it.



June 25, 2014 at 02:14AM

Why Being Apple-Shaped Puts Your Heart at Risk | Health and Burn Weight

Here's another reason to lose that belly: Certain types of fat are more harmful than others, says Laurence S. Sperling, MD, director of Preventive Cardiology at the Emory Clinic in Atlanta. Watch the video to find out why. May 22, 2014 at 02:14AM

8 Things You Need to Know About Your Colon | Health and Burn Weight

Think of it as your personal garbage disposal: Your colon (aka your bowel or large intestine) absorbs minerals and water from food before pushing the remains out into the toilet where they belong. A lot can go wrong in that seemingly simple process, though, leading to conditions from irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and constipation to age-related maladies like hemorrhoids and diverticulosis. Keep your colon running smoothly—and reduce your risk of diseases such as cancer—with our prescription for the best foods, natural cures and cutting-edge treatments.



Problem No. 1: Irritable bowel syndrome



The lowdown IBS "is a term doctors use to describe gastrointestinal issues such as recurrent diarrhea, bloating and/or constipation that they can't explain," says Alex Ky, MD, a colorectal surgeon at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City.



What it feels like The clinical diagnosis is abdominal pain or discomfort for at least three days a month in the past three months, plus at least two of these symptoms: pain that gets better after a bowel movement (BM), changes in BM frequency or a difference in how your BMs look. In some cases, symptoms can become so intense that you don't want to travel for long distances or even leave the house.



MORE: 18 Reasons Why Your Stomach Hurts



Rx Treatment might include over-the-counter medications such as stool softeners, fiber supplements, probiotics or prescription antispasmodic medications to relieve abdominal pain. Low-dose tricyclic antidepressants can reduce the intensity of pain signals going from gut to brain. You may also want to keep a food diary to see if any specific foods are causing flare-ups.



Fact: 60 percent of irritable bowel syndrome sufferers are women. No one is sure why we're so prone; it may be that the nerve cells in our digestive tracts are more sensitive.



Problem No. 2: Diarrhea



The lowdown When food and fluids aren't properly absorbed by the colon walls—most commonly when you have a virus causing inflammation in your intestines—they wind up exiting your body instead. Hello, diarrhea. Other, nonviral culprits include food poisoning, taking antibiotics or a lactose or fructose intolerance.



What it feels like Loose, watery, sometimes explosive stools, often with cramps and bloating.



Rx Traditional advice is to stick to the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce and toast) or other bland, low-fiber foods. You may lose electrolytes (minerals in your blood) after many episodes of diarrhea, so snack on stuff that's rich in potassium, like avocados, and drink electrolyte-containing fluids, such as Gatorade or coconut water. Check with your doctor before taking over-the-counter antidiarrhea products like Imodium; while they can help with symptoms, they may mess with your body's natural process of getting rid of infection. Most of the time, symptoms resolve on their own within 24 to 48 hours. See a doctor if they don't, if you become dehydrated (signs may include dark urine and a headache) or if you have bloody or black stools.



Problem No. 3: Constipation



The lowdown Clinical constipation is defined as having fewer than one BM every five days. But "everyone's normal is different, and you can go fairly frequently and still feel constipated if you're struggling when you do go," Dr. Ky says.



What it feels like Your poops are hard and dry, so you really have to strain to pass them. You may also have bloating or lower-abdominal discomfort.



Rx Fiber is your best friend, since it bulks up and softens stool, making it easier to pass. Aim for at least 25 grams a day—21g if you're over 50, says Alberto Barroso, MD, a gastroenterologist at Houston Methodist Hospital. (A cup of cooked black beans has about 15g, a medium apple has 4.4g and a cup of instant cooked oatmeal has 4g.) Just follow up all that fiber with water—at least 2 quarts a day—since without it, fiber can actually slow things down.



MORE: 20 Best Foods for Fiber



And don't put off bathroom time! Waiting (say, to squeeze in one more errand) can make you chronically constipated, Dr. Ky says, because the stool stays in your colon, which absorbs more of its fluid, making it drier and harder. If you're really plugged up, try an over-the-counter stool softener, such as Colace. Coffee works, too: The caffeine can stimulate your intestinal tract. For chronic constipation, you can talk to your doc about prescription meds.



Stuck? Try this move

A simple abdominal massage can help relieve constipation, according to a 2009 Swedish study. How to do it: Using both palms, stroke your tummy from the rib cage to about an inch below your belly button six times, then in a clockwise circular movement six times. Repeat for about 10 minutes.



Problem No. 4: Hemorrhoids



The lowdown If you've ever been pregnant, you've likely had them: inflamed arteries and veins in your rectum or the skin around it. You can get them from straining during a bowel movement (which is why you're more susceptible if you have chronic constipation) or from increased pressure on these veins during pregnancy, says Carol Burke, MD, director of the Center for Colon Polyps at the Cleveland Clinic.



What they feel like You may notice bright red blood on your toilet paper or dripping into the bowl but have no other symptoms; otherwise, you may have some itching or irritation around that area, or even feel a hemorrhoid sticking out.



Rx See your MD. Mild hemorrhoids can be treated by eating a high-fiber diet (to prevent constipation and reduce straining) and using over-the-counter pads with witch hazel, like Tucks, to relieve pain and itching. If your hemorrhoid is protruding from your anus, a colorectal surgeon can place a rubber band around it to choke off its blood supply so that it eventually falls off, Dr. Ky says. If that doesn't work, you can have the hemorrhoid removed surgically (which usually requires local anesthesia with sedation but is an outpatient procedure).



Watch out for this pain



Diverticulosis—a condition in which you develop small bulging pouches in your colon—afflicts about a third of adults over 45, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Usually, you don't realize you have pouches. But when one gets infected, a condition known as diverticulitis, you may experience abdominal pain (usually on your left side) that could send you to the ER. Don't worry: Antibiotics calm it down.



Crazy for colonics



Celebs such as Madonna and Janet Jackson have reportedly undergone colonics, a process in which a colon hydrotherapist places a tube in your rectum and flushes water into your colon. Why? The procedure is based on the theory that toxins build up in the colon, causing issues such as weight gain and fatigue, and need to be removed. But medical experts say that this is bogus. In fact, a 2011 Georgetown University review concluded that colonics have no benefit and could lead to side effects ranging from cramping to even death. Same goes for enemas—which Kourtney Kardashian has had—and other supposed colon cleanses. Bottom line: "Your colon does a great job of cleaning itself," Dr. Ky says. "It's not meant to be pristine."



What is inflammatory bowel disease?



A constellation of diseases that involve chronic inflammation of your small intestine and colon, inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) occurs when your immune system goes into overdrive and views food, bacteria and other normal residents of your digestive tract as invaders. The two most common in women are ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease. Symptoms of both include chronic diarrhea, cramping, abdominal pain, fever, rectal bleeding and unexplained weight loss (since inflammation can keep the colon from absorbing crucial nutrients). Prescription anti-inflammatory drugs, such as azulfidine, along with immune-system suppressors, like Remicade or Humira, can help. To prevent IBD, try loading up on olive oil: According to one British study, people with the highest consumption of oleic acid—found in olive, peanut and grape-seed oils and in butter and some margarines—had a 90 percent reduced risk of the condition compared with those with the lowest intake.



The best way to beat colon cancer



Fecal occult testing, sigmoidoscopy, double-contrast barium enema—there are a plethora of new colon cancer screenings out there, but experts agree that a colonoscopy is the most comprehensive. "It's the gold standard because it doesn't just find cancer—it can prevent it by allowing the surgeon to get rid of potentially cancerous polyps immediately," explains Mark Pochapin, MD, director of the division of gastroenterology at NYU Langone Medical Center.



(Other screening tests, including virtual colonoscopies—which rely on X-rays and computer imaging instead of a scope—require a follow-up, usually a traditional colonoscopy, if anything suspicious appears.) Get your first colonoscopy at age 50—earlier if you have a family history of polyps or cancer. Got no polyps? You don't need to go back for 5 to 10 years.



May 14, 2014 at 02:14AM

7 Ways to Stop Procrastinating | Health and Burn Weight

Choices are never easy, especially when it comes to life's big ones. Phoebe, 39, came to see me one day, distraught after learning from a doctor that she might not be able to conceive. "How long have you been trying?" I asked. "On and off for eight months," she told me. Even though she had always wanted a baby and had been married for seven years, she confessed that she'd had a lot of trouble committing to getting pregnant. She didn't understand why; in fact, she'd had a similar problem deciding whether or not to marry her (very) long-term boyfriend, to the point that she almost lost him.



Of course, getting married and starting a family aren't decisions you enter into lightly, but Phoebe had a major case of life procrastination. That's what I call voluntarily putting off something you truly want to do, despite knowing that you'll probably be worse off because of the delay.



People tend to think of procrastination in terms of concrete to-dos—waiting until the last minute to turn in a work report, say, or paying bills late. But it can also take hold when making life decisions both small and large, from Should I join a gym? to Do I ask for a raise? These missed opportunities can damage your career or relationship and also give you a nagging, frustrating feeling that you're stuck in a rut of your own making.



MORE: 12 Ways We Sabotage Our Mental Health



Research shows that about 20 percent of adults are chronic procrastinators, but many more of us occasionally put off until tomorrow what we need—and even want—to do today. Yet for the most part, we don't realize that it's happening or that, in the process, we're undermining our own happiness. Procrastinators tend to be far more stressed than those who don't have this habit; they get sick more often, too. If you can suck it up and act, however, you'll find your day-to-day a lot more pleasant and rewarding: Your mind will be released from all that ruminating and second-guessing, paving the way for other opportunities. After all, life is richest when filled with milestones and accomplishments—not with regrets of what you should've and would've done, if only.



So why would a woman push off a marriage or baby she really wants? Why would someone stay in a job she no longer likes? It's not that they're lazy or overly laid-back. Life procrastinators may dread failure. They may have a fear of success, an urge to be defiant, a perfectionist streak or a need to take risks—all of which can get in the way when trying to make a decision. Take my diagnostic quiz to see if you are a life procrastinator, then keep reading to discover what's driving your indecision and find real-world solutions that will finally set you free.



'I don't want to fail'



If you're so afraid of being bad (or, worse, just OK) at something that you'd rather not try it at all, here's a news flash: You're a perfectionist. Perhaps you hardly ever work out because you'd feel terrible if you killed yourself at the gym but couldn't lose the last 10 pounds or hone that six-pack. Carrying this to the extreme, you may also believe that you are only lovable and worthwhile if your performance at everything is nothing less than outstanding.



MORE: 19 Natural Remedies for Anxiety



Try this: The next time you're hemming and hawing over something you could crash and burn at, take a page from Sheryl Sandberg and tell yourself, Done is better than perfect. Chances are, no one will notice if the results aren't up to your exacting standards; they'll just be impressed that you got results, period.



'I'm afraid of being successful'



On the flip side, some of us become paralyzed by imagining that if we excel, we will be expected to keep performing at that level. Or we freak out that the achievement would change our lives in unpredictable and uncontrollable ways. Concerns you may have: If I ask for that promotion and get it, who's going to help out with the kids if I have to put in more hours at the office? Are my work friends going to stop inviting me to lunch?



Try this: Accept uncertainty. The reality is that any choice you make (even if you decide to keep things status quo) will have upsides and downsides. Imagining the potential negatives (My friend at work will be so jealous) and telling yourself that it will work out (She'll deal, or else I'll find a new confidant) can help you stop obsessing and start doing. Worried that you'll be less available for your loved ones? That's a classic fear of success. Keep in mind that if and when you accept a new position or job, you can set boundaries at the outset. Thing is, you can't do that unless you apply first.



'I don't want to be told what to do'



You aim—fine, you need—to be in charge. You probably grew up with an authoritarian parent who was very controlling. Unfortunately, now you're asserting yourself by delaying things that must be addressed, like making basic updates to your circa-1950s kitchen. Your story is: "Hey! No one can order me around!"—even though no one really is—"I'll do it on my terms!" Which may be never.



Try this: When you find yourself resisting a change, ask yourself how you're really feeling at heart. Indecision often masks anxiety, sadness or anger. Perhaps your parents were always fighting about money, so even though you have the cash to renovate, you feel stressed-out about spending it. Figuring out which emotion is stopping you from acting can make a decision clearer because it becomes more obvious that the conflict over taking action is coming from you. In other words, you are fighting only yourself.



'I get a rush out of doing things last-minute'



Some put-offers aren't anxious at all: They thrive on the excitement of scrambling to hit deadlines, often because they find the daily grind boring—and boredom terrifying. A thrill seeker who wants to go on some fantasy vacation, such as a boat cruise in the Galapagos, may delay purchasing tickets but keep checking to see how many spots are left until, finally, she is forced to commit because the trip is almost booked.



MORE: 25 Surprising Ways Stress Affects Your Health



Try this: If you're always telling yourself that you're at your best when under pressure, prove it (in a small, innocuous way). Do a task—like tossing in a load of laundry or completing your expenses at work—at the last minute, as usual. Then one day perform that same chore ahead of schedule. You'll most likely notice that your overall routine seems a little saner and that you have more free time on your hands when you knock stuff off early. Even better: You'll have a full underwear drawer—and a cool trip to look forward to.



3 Everyday Ways to Just Do It

Quick tips that will help you tackle those little things you put off, courtesy of John Perry, PhD, author of The Art of Procrastination.



NAG YOURSELF

It's hard to ignore in-your-face reminders. Put Post-its on the fridge at night with a list of errands for the next day. Program your computer to send alerts, or try a task-manager app like Any.do. Place the bag of clothes to return to the store right by the door so you have to take it with you.



THINK OF AN OMINOUS TASK

Maybe it's changing the oil in your car or cleaning out the attic. Soon you'll find yourself doing what you really need to do because it's better than the dreaded chore. It's all relative: Some activities may be mundane, but they're not nearly as bad as an oil change.



MAKE TINIER TO-DOS

For instance, instead of writing, Send thank-you cards, jot down, 1. Find thank-you cards. 2. Write them out. 3. Address envelopes. Why it works: The thrill of checking off all those little tasks makes you feel so successful that you're revved to keep on going. Mission, accomplished.



May 14, 2014 at 02:14AM

7 Vacation Health Hassles, Solved | Health and Burn Weight

Killer sunburn—ouch! Stomach-churning motion sickness—oof! Don't let unexpected ailments ruin your trip. Our handy guide will help you bounce back fast. May 13, 2014 at 02:14AM

9 Ways to Detox Your Home | Health and Burn Weight

Greening your space can be confusing: Should you use natural cleaning products? Which plastics are OK? We've boiled it down to the moves that matter most. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

Scary Symptoms You Can Relax About | Health and Burn Weight

Weird lumps, bumps or rashes? Chances are you're just fine. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

6 Things You Need to Know About Insurance | Health and Burn Weight

Here's what the Affordable Care Act means for your family's health insurance coverage. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

17 Key Facts About the Affordable Care Act | Health and Burn Weight

Don't have health insurance? Here's how the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) will change that. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

8 Essentials for Healthy Travel | Health and Burn Weight

Whether you're bound for the Caribbean or headed on a weekend road trip, your bag isn't complete without this expert-approved first-aid kit. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

15 Tips for Saving Money on Prescription Drugs | Health and Burn Weight

Medication can cost a bundle. Here's how to save money on prescription drugs. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

14 Health Products You Probably Don't Need | Health and Burn Weight

The messages can be seducing: Lose weight without trying. Build muscle without lifting a finger. Wake up flawless. Check out these 14 products that promise, but probably won’t deliver, a healthier you. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

Secrets to a Healthy, Stress-Free Family | Health and Burn Weight

Our simple do-it-today steps will help you build a strong, happy, healthier family. May 08, 2014 at 02:14AM

What the Yuck?! | Health and Burn Weight

Got a truly embarrassing health question? A weird out-of-the-blue symptom? In this sneak peek at our new Health book, Dr. Roshini Raj fields your most personal and provocative questions—about your body, sex, even celeb health fads. April 26, 2014 at 02:14AM

5 Ways to Get Healthy for Less Money | Health and Burn Weight

In the quest to stay healthy and happy, nothing is free: $350 to fill a cavity, $120 for a monthly gym membership, $30 for a yoga class. But you don't need to go broke just to be at your best. The key to paying less? Asking for it.



Unfortunately, that's something many of us don't do. "Haggling involves two things people hate: conflict and rejection," says Edward Wertheim, PhD, professor of negotiation at Northeastern University's D'Amore-McKim School of Business in Boston. And health is an area where people don't often think they can strike a bargain.



But "anything you spend money on—whether it's an antique or a skin check—is open to debate," says Mark Ellwood, author of Bargain Fever. "And health-care prices tend to be arbitrary—there is no rule saying a doctor or personal trainer has to charge a certain amount." Save big on services by learning the art of negotiation.



More: 20 Ways to Get Healthier for Free



Get a deal on...: Gym memberships



Gather info on local rates. This should always be your first step. That way, "you can ask the gym you like best to match the average or lowest price you find," says Sandy Todd Webster, editor-in-chief of trade publications for Idea Health & Fitness Association, the world's largest association of fitness professionals.



Create your own discounts. "I asked a nearby gym about a neighborhood discount. They said no, but when I explained how close I lived, they gave me 25 percent off for the first year," says Thorin Klosowski, a writer for the website Lifehacker. The same gambit worked for Amy Davis, a teacher in Columbia, Md. "I had stress fractures that sidelined me for a few months, so I went to a gym and asked if I could get a discount to ride only the stationary bike," she says. "They waived my joining fee, and I paid just $15 a month." Also ask about any discounts that aren't advertised. "Some gyms offer lower membership rates if you go later at night or only on weekdays," Klosowski says.



Haggle at the right time. "Most gyms have a sales quota they need to meet each month, so if you talk to them toward the end of the month, you have more power," says trainer Andrea Metcalf, author of Naked Fitness. "You can also get more bang for your buck during slower months, like July, when everyone is away or exercising outside."



Barter with boutique gyms, too. Ask yoga and cycling studios to match any lower rates you've found at similar places. And "don't be afraid to ask for a free trial period or a friends-and-family referral discount," Webster adds.



More: 10 Fun Ways to Get Fit Without the Gym



Get a deal on...: Sessions with a personal trainer, nutritionist or massage therapist

Buy in bulk. "Ask if you can get bonus sessions by paying in advance," Ellwood says.



Propose a trade. Carrie Anton, a writer in Madison, Wis., tried this tactic and succeeded. "The trainers I went to had a clunky website," she says. "So I offered them my writing services in exchange for getting free sessions. They liked the work I did so much that they kept the freebies coming!"



More: 19 Natural Remedies for Anxiety



Get a deal on...: Therapy

Ask about sliding scales. "This means you're charged based on your income, so the less you make, the less you pay," says Joe Taravella, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. Therapists do this more often than you might think.



Get a deal on...: Spa treatments

Hit up Groupon. "Massages and facials are some of the biggest categories for mass-coupon websites," says Allan Share, president of the Day Spa Association. "If the spa you go to isn't on one, call them up, mention that their competitor is running a certain special and ask if they can match it."



Get a deal on...: Dental work

Offer to pay in cash. This is particularly useful at the dentist's office, since most dental insurance leaves patients shelling out quite a bit on their own. "My dentist lowered the price of my visit when I said I would pay in full up front," Klosowski says. "He knew he'd get his money directly without worrying about insurance."



Shop around. "Many dentists will meet with you for a complimentary consultation to get a price quote—just confirm in advance that it will indeed be free," says Gayle Glenn, DDS, president of the American Association of Orthodontists. "You can save up to 10 percent in costs by doing this."



More: 15 Ways to Save Money on Prescription Drugs



4 Things You Shouldn't Scrip On

A super low price isn't always a great deal. In some areas, it's worth spending a little bit more.



Complex procedures. Buyer, beware: "Cheaper versions may not be the best treatment solutions," says Todd Barsky, DDS, a prosthodontist at the Miami Institute in Florida.



Contact lenses. Save by getting them online if you can. But know that too-good-to-be-true prices can mean the lenses are counterfeit—and possibly harmful to your eyes.



Prescription drugs. As with contacts, sweet online deals for meds could signal a counterfeit product. Stick to reputable vendors whose names you know and trust.



Supplements. Nutritional supplements aren't as rigidly regulated as drugs, so you're best off buying them at big chain stores to ensure their effectiveness.



April 15, 2014 at 02:14AM

Here's the First Medical Marijuana Ad to Air on Major Networks | Health and Burn Weight

Twenty states and Washington, D.C. have legalized the use of marijuana for medical reasons, and now there's a commercial for medical marijuana. Watch the one-minute spot in this video from Time.com . April 09, 2014 at 02:14AM

15 Signs You May Have an Iron Deficiency | Health and Burn Weight

Iron can make the difference between you feeling on top of the world and downright miserable. Check out these surprising signs you need to pump up your iron levels. April 03, 2014 at 02:14AM

15 Signs You May Have an Iron Deficiency | Health and Burn Weight

Iron can make the difference between you feeling on top of the world and downright miserable. Check out these surprising signs you need to pump up your iron levels. March 27, 2014 at 01:14AM

What the Yuck?! | Health and Burn Weight

Got a truly embarrassing health question? A weird out-of-the-blue symptom? In this sneak peek at our new Health book, Dr. Roshini Raj fields your most personal and provocative questions—about your body, sex, even celeb health fads. March 18, 2014 at 01:14AM

The Beauty Of Reinvention | Health and Burn Weight

When my dad, Joe Brown, was 70, he started a career as a children's book author. Eight years later, he has seven published books and a screenplay based on his stories. Considering he spent 50 years as an attorney, my dad's recent accomplishments prove that reinvention can truly happen at any time.



Find your passion



My first brush with reinvention happened when I was still in college. I had no idea what to study. I started at the University of Wisconsin, transferred to the University of Arizona and came home after my freshman year announcing I wanted to drop out. As you can imagine, my parents insisted that I get a college degree. I told them that I didn't know what to do with my life. My mom said, "Forget about what you want to do with your career. Pretend it's your birthday and you can do anything you want."



The first thing that came to mind was a trip to the makeup counter at our local department store. Seeing the spark in my eye, my mom encouraged me to look at schools that offered courses in makeup. With my dad's help, I found Emerson College, which allows students to design their own major. I ended up with a BFA in theatrical makeup. Even though my dad cracked the occasional joke ("What are you going to take, Mascara 101?"), he supported me 100 percent.



Discovering what you love is an essential part of reinvention. In my 30s, when I was a freelance makeup artist in New York City, my passion for natural-looking makeup led me to develop my own brown-based lipsticks—which expanded into a makeup and skin-care line that was eventually bought by the Estée Lauder Companies. In my 40s, I channeled my passion for women's causes into a partnership with the not-for-profit organization Dress for Success.



Don't let age define you



When I turned 50, I was so adamant about redefining the notion of age, I wrote the book Living Beauty, featuring older women who were gorgeous simply because they'd figured out how to look the best for their age. Rather than trying to recapture who they used to be, they lived in the moment. Living in the moment is no easy feat. Our tendency is to rehash the past and worry about what's up ahead. But in my opinion, it's another necessary element of reinvention. You have to focus on the now to see opportunities.



Push past no



I've been a risk-taker for as long as I can remember. In 2010, I had the idea for Pretty Powerful, an ad campaign featuring pictures of real women. I didn't know how customers would respond, but it's grown into a worldwide philanthropic effort to empower women.



I'm constantly searching for ways to do better because I believe life is an evolution. It's not about reaching an end goal and hanging up your hat (or, in my case, packing up my makeup brushes). It's about continually growing. My dad says he wakes up each day with a smile on his face, his head full of ideas for new stories. With some luck, I'll be just like him when I get to be his age.



BOBBI BROWN is Health's contributing beauty and lifestyle editor. To keep up with Bobbi, follow her at everythingbobbi.com.



March 18, 2014 at 01:14AM

Here's the First Medical Marijuana Ad to Air on Major Networks | Health and Burn Weight

Twenty states and Washington, D.C. have legalized the use of marijuana for medical reasons, and now there's a commercial for medical marijuana. Watch the one-minute spot in this video from Time.com . March 14, 2014 at 01:14AM

Your Ultimate Guide to Healthy Ears | Health and Burn Weight

If a typical day finds you blasting your iPod, shouting over the din at dinner and blaring the TV, this will come as no surprise: "Hearing loss is now a growing epidemic among women in their 30s and 40s," says Douglas Backous, MD, medical director of the Center for Hearing and Skull Base Surgery at the Swedish Neuroscience Institute in Seattle. Even in the quietest places, we can face unrelated issues, like infection, vertigo and congestion. All ears now? Follow our guide to caring for and protecting this key organ.



Problem No. 1: Hearing loss



The lowdown This isn't a concern just for drummers and construction workers. "Even having earbuds at full blast while you're running every day can cause permanent damage over time," says Eric Smouha, MD, director of otology and neurology at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. "Intense exposure to sound causes wear and tear on the hair cells in your cochlea."



What it feels like Conversations are muffled; you may notice that you're asking people to speak more slowly or repeat themselves. "If you turn the TV volume up so high that others complain about the noise, that's a red flag," says Barry Hirsch, MD, director of the division of neurotology at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.



Rx See your doctor. The first step is to check your ears—wax may simply be blocking sound waves from entering your ear canal. Otherwise, you'll be referred to an audiologist for a hearing test. "If you have trouble hearing sounds above 25 decibels [dB], it's considered hearing loss and needs to be thoroughly evaluated," says Sarah Sydlowski, PhD, an audiologist at the Cleveland Clinic. While there's no way to reverse noise-induced hearing loss, mild forms can be treated with an assistive listening device. If your loss is more pronounced, you'll need a hearing aid. To keep things from getting to that point, use earplugs whenever you're in a noisy situation—say, a concert or football game. "And when you're listening to tunes, keep the volume at the halfway point," Sydlowski says.



Problem No. 2: Pressure changes



The lowdown You know that awful ear pop (the one your kids shriek about) as the plane you're in starts to descend? It has a fancy name—barotrauma. "The air pressure in your middle ear is usually the same as the air pressure outside your body," Dr. Hirsch explains. But when you're landing, the cabin pressure increases. "The outside pressure pushes your eardrum inward," he says. Your Eustachian tubes—which connect your middle ear to the back of your nose and throat—regulate air pressure, but they can't always react quickly enough. The result: serious discomfort. (When a plane goes up, the reverse happens; it's a lot less likely to cause pain.) These symptoms can get worse if you have a stuffed-up schnoz from a cold.



What it feels like Mild to moderate pressure or pain in your ear, along with stuffiness.



Rx Take a big yawn, chew gum or suck on a hard candy. "These actions pull the muscles that open your Eustachian tubes and equalize the pressure," Dr. Hirsch says. Alternatively, try the Valsalva maneuver: Pinch your nostrils shut, close your mouth and force air into the back of your nose, as if you're blowing it. If you have a full-fledged cold, use a drugstore decongestant nasal spray, such as Afrin, and pop a decongestant pill like Sudafed before you fly.



Problem No. 3: Tinnitus



The lowdown Up to 20 percent of people under age 50 are plagued by tinnitus—ringing in the ears. It's usually a symptom of an underlying condition, such as hearing loss or an ear injury. "One theory about the cause: When hair cells in the inner ear are damaged by a trigger like loud noise, random electrical impulses are generated, which the brain perceives as ringing," Sydlowski says. Other possible culprits include high blood pressure (which can restrict blood flow to ears), stiffening of the bones of your inner ear (a condition called otosclerosis), jaw joint problems (TMJ) and certain medications, such as the antibiotic erythromycin and the antimalaria med quinine.



What it feels like A ringing, buzzing or hissing sound that may vary from a low roar to a high-pitched squeal. You may hear it in one or both of your ears, and it can either be constant or come and go.



Rx If you experience tinnitus after being exposed to a loud noise, wait a day or two to see if it subsides. But if it doesn't, visit an audiologist. Treating the cause or going off the offending meds should make symptoms disappear.



How infections start



While kids are much more prone to them than we are, middle ear infections—which usually develop after fluid builds up there after a cold—may be on the rise in adults, says Dr. Backous. "I see this more and more in my practice," he notes, "probably because there's more particulate matter in the air on account of pollution and smoking that can trigger infections." That said, the most common kind of ear infection in grown-ups is an outer ear infection, aka swimmer's ear. It's typically caused by water left in your ear after a swim, but "it can also be caused by sticking cotton swabs in your ear, which damages the thin layer of skin lining your ear canal," says Sean McMenomey, MD, professor of otolaryngology at New York University. Prevent them by refraining from putting swabs or even fingers deep into your ears. If you swim, rinse your ears out afterward with a mixture that's 50 percent rubbing alcohol and 50 percent white vinegar—use a baby syringe to squirt it in.



How you hear



1. A source of sound sends vibrations, or sound waves, into the air.



2. The waves funnel through the ear opening, go down the external ear canal and strike your eardrum, making it vibrate.



3. The vibrations are passed to the three small bones of the middle ear.



4. The bones transmit them to the cochlea, which contains tubes filled with fluid. Inside the tubes, tiny hair cells pick up the vibrations and convert them into nerve impulses.



5. These impulses are delivered to the brain via the auditory nerve.



6. The brain interprets the impulses as sound (music, voice, a car horn, etc.).



March 14, 2014 at 01:14AM